「オズの毒薬」の返信一覧

オズの毒薬 (No:1)

スレ主左野冠

投稿日時： 2018年12月17日

オズの毒薬の返信 (No: 2)

投稿者サタン : 2 No: 1の返信

あー、あのプロットか。＞Cは絶対入れるのですが、ABは不要ですかね。そうですね。... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2018年12月18日

オズの毒薬の返信の返信 (No: 5)

スレ主左野冠 : 1 No: 2の返信

サタンさま　回答ありがとうございます。　覚えていらっしゃったんですね、ちょっ... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2018年12月19日

オズの毒薬の返信 (No: 3)

投稿者田中一郎 : 2 No: 1の返信

Aはあってもいいけど無いほうがはるかに良い。描写で伝えるのがベスト。冒頭で大事なのは「ど... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2018年12月18日

オズの毒薬の返信の返信 (No: 6)

スレ主左野冠 : 0 No: 3の返信

田中一郎さま　回答ありがとうございます。　AB不要ということですね。　伝わら... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2018年12月19日

オズの毒薬の返信 (No: 4)

スレ主左野冠 : 0 No: 1の返信

　スレ主の左野冠です。　回答ありがとうございます。　やはり、ABはいりませんでし... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2018年12月18日

▼投稿者の検索

トップページへ

小説の最重要箇所であるタイトルとプロローグを改善するための相談、意見交換ができる掲示板です。
タイトルが良くないとそもそも読者は小説を読んでくれません。
また、プロローグがおもしろくなくては、ブックマークに登録してくれません。タイトルとプロローグで小説の評価は９割決まります。
この２つを改善するための相談ができる場所です。

ページの先頭へ

他の相談依頼

Notice (8): Undefined variable: i2 [APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11]Code Context        <?php foreach ($random_data as $novel): ?>
        <?php $i2++; ?>
        <div class="list-group-item">
$viewFile = '/home/users/2/weblike.jp-tennsaku/web/prologue/src/Template/Element/random_data.ctp'
$dataForView = [
	'_serialize' => [
		(int) 0 => 'novels'
	],
	'novel' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'[new]' => true,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'tree' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.rewriting AS "novels__rewriting", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
		'hydrate' => true,
		'buffered' => true,
		'formatters' => (int) 0,
		'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
		'contain' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'count_treeList' => (int) 5,
	'NovelsOrigin' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'id' => (int) 87,
		'title' => 'オズの毒薬',
		'person_id' => (int) 21,
		'people' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'novels' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[new]' => false,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'random_data' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
		'hydrate' => true,
		'buffered' => true,
		'formatters' => (int) 0,
		'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
		'contain' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'excellent' => (int) 3,
	'headerTitle' => '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'title' => '「オズの毒薬」の返信一覧。小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'title2' => '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'description' => '「オズの毒薬」の返信一覧。小説の最重要箇所であるタイトルとプロローグを改善するための相談、意見交換ができる掲示板です。タイトルが良くないとそもそも読者は小説を読んでくれません。また、プロローグがおもしろくなくては、ブックマークに登録してくれません。タイトルとプロローグで小説の評価は９割決まります。この２つを改善するための相談ができる場所です。',
	'site_name' => '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'meta' => (int) 1,
	'advertisements' => true,
	'form' => (int) 1,
	'nondisplay' => [],
	'h2' => '他の相談依頼'
]
$_serialize = [
	(int) 0 => 'novels'
]
$novel = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'novels' => [
		'id' => '193',
		'title' => '生きるのに疲れたので、田舎で幼女の奴隷になりました。',
		'score' => '0',
		'url' => 'https://ncode.syosetu.com/n7746gf/',
		'created' => '2020-05-14 02:51:35',
		'comment' => 'ページを開いていただきありがとうございます。物語の導入部まで書いてみたのですが自分自身あまり納得ができていないため、よろしければ皆様のご意見をお聞かせください。

',
		'person_id' => '49',
		'rs' => '3',
		'excellent' => null,
		'parent_title' => null
	],
	'people' => [
		'id' => '49',
		'name' => 'YM'
	],
	'[new]' => false,
	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$tree = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.rewriting AS "novels__rewriting", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		':c1' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting' => 'text',
		'rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels__rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [
		'for' => '87'
	],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$count_treeList = (int) 5
$NovelsOrigin = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'id' => (int) 87,
	'title' => 'オズの毒薬',
	'person_id' => (int) 21,
	'people' => [
		'id' => '21',
		'name' => '左野冠'
	],
	'novels' => [
		'created' => '2018-12-17 22:00:49'
	],
	'[new]' => false,
	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$random_data = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting' => 'text',
		'rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels__rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$excellent = (int) 3
$headerTitle = '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$title = '「オズの毒薬」の返信一覧。小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$title2 = '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$description = '「オズの毒薬」の返信一覧。小説の最重要箇所であるタイトルとプロローグを改善するための相談、意見交換ができる掲示板です。タイトルが良くないとそもそも読者は小説を読んでくれません。また、プロローグがおもしろくなくては、ブックマークに登録してくれません。タイトルとプロローグで小説の評価は９割決まります。この２つを改善するための相談ができる場所です。'
$site_name = '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$meta = (int) 1
$advertisements = true
$form = (int) 1
$nondisplay = []
$h2 = '他の相談依頼'
$i2 = null
include - APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1203
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1164
Cake\View\View::_renderElement() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1561
Cake\View\View::element() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 675
include - APP/Template/Novels/tree.ctp, line 30
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1203
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1164
Cake\View\View::render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 772
Cake\Controller\Controller::render() - CORE/src/Controller/Controller.php, line 623
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::_invoke() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 125
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::dispatch() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 93
Cake\Http\BaseApplication::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/BaseApplication.php, line 108
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\RoutingMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/RoutingMiddleware.php, line 104
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\AssetMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/AssetMiddleware.php, line 88

生きるのに疲れたので、田舎で幼女の奴隷になりました。

投稿者 YM 返信数 : 2

投稿日時： 2020年05月14日

ページを開いていただきありがとうございます。物語の導入部まで書いてみたのですが自分自身あまり納得ができていないため、よろしければ皆様... 続きを読む >>

返信一覧最新記事

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n7746gf/

新人ラノベ作家が一発屋で終わる理由とは？２つの原因と対策

青空坂上　AOZORA-SAKAUE　１条線　～卒業するまで、しゃっぽーしようね！～

投稿者千歳返信数 : 1

投稿日時： 2019年04月30日

個人的には良いプロローグが書けたと思っていますが、どうなんでしょうか？他の方の意見を聞いてみたいです。続きを読む >>

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n6047ek/

平凡サラリーマンの絶対帰還行動録〜異世界生活の始まりはサバイバルから〜

投稿者 JIRO 返信数 : 12

投稿日時： 2018年03月25日

批評・感想相談の方でもお世話になっております。JIROと申します。こちらはタイトル&プロローグ特化のようなので、こちらに... 続きを読む >>

返信一覧最新記事

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n4274en/

「オズの毒薬」の返信一覧

▼書き込みの検索

▼投稿者の検索

他の相談依頼

小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』の使い方・利用規約(必ずお読みください)。お問い合わせ

関連コンテンツ