「迷宮都市・幻想特区」の返信一覧

迷宮都市・幻想特区 (No:1)

スレ主冬空星屑

投稿日時： 2019年03月20日

迷宮都市・幻想特区の返信 (No: 2)

投稿者ソラナキ : 1 No: 1の返信

良いと思います。主人公はエリクサーでも飲んだのかな？で、ヒロインは青い髪の女の子？ ... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2019年03月22日

呪われの神子　――親を殺すために神を目指す―― (No: 3)

スレ主冬空星屑 : 1 No: 2の返信

　ありがとうございます❗️ 　タイトルを考え直した方が良いかもしれませんね。　状況説明... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2019年03月22日

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小説の最重要箇所であるタイトルとプロローグを改善するための相談、意見交換ができる掲示板です。
タイトルが良くないとそもそも読者は小説を読んでくれません。
また、プロローグがおもしろくなくては、ブックマークに登録してくれません。タイトルとプロローグで小説の評価は９割決まります。
この２つを改善するための相談ができる場所です。

ページの先頭へ

他の相談依頼

Notice (8): Undefined variable: i2 [APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11]Code Context        <?php foreach ($random_data as $novel): ?>
        <?php $i2++; ?>
        <div class="list-group-item">
$viewFile = '/home/users/2/weblike.jp-tennsaku/web/prologue/src/Template/Element/random_data.ctp'
$dataForView = [
	'_serialize' => [
		(int) 0 => 'novels'
	],
	'novel' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'[new]' => true,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'tree' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.rewriting AS "novels__rewriting", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
		'hydrate' => true,
		'buffered' => true,
		'formatters' => (int) 0,
		'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
		'contain' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'count_treeList' => (int) 2,
	'NovelsOrigin' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'id' => (int) 130,
		'title' => '迷宮都市・幻想特区',
		'person_id' => (int) 31,
		'people' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'novels' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[new]' => false,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'random_data' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
		'hydrate' => true,
		'buffered' => true,
		'formatters' => (int) 0,
		'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
		'contain' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'excellent' => (int) 3,
	'headerTitle' => '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'title' => '「迷宮都市・幻想特区」の返信一覧。小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'title2' => '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'description' => '「迷宮都市・幻想特区」の返信一覧。小説の最重要箇所であるタイトルとプロローグを改善するための相談、意見交換ができる掲示板です。タイトルが良くないとそもそも読者は小説を読んでくれません。また、プロローグがおもしろくなくては、ブックマークに登録してくれません。タイトルとプロローグで小説の評価は９割決まります。この２つを改善するための相談ができる場所です。',
	'site_name' => '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'meta' => (int) 1,
	'advertisements' => true,
	'form' => (int) 1,
	'nondisplay' => [],
	'h2' => '他の相談依頼'
]
$_serialize = [
	(int) 0 => 'novels'
]
$novel = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'novels' => [
		'id' => '95',
		'title' => '記憶喪失の俺が、メイドになってお嬢様に仕えるワケ',
		'score' => '0',
		'url' => '',
		'created' => '2019-01-13 00:43:20',
		'comment' => 'ノベル道場でお世話になった、かもめしと申します。
この度、掲示板で書いていた長編小説を新人賞に応募したくて推敲しております。
今回はプロローグを書き上げてみました。
世界観の説明、キャラの会話、文章の内容など、気になる点がありましたら、どうかご指導をお願いします。

プロローグは、世界観の説明とキャラのやり取りを入れたくて書き上げました。

（あらすじ）

「それで？　殺害方法は考えついていて？」

クーヤの主人――セレス嬢には殺害したい相手がいるらしい。
らしい、という曖昧な表現なのには理由がある。それはクーヤが、殺害相手の名前もろとも過去の記憶を喪失してしまったのだ。
彼女が殺害したい相手は誰か？　
腹違いの弟か、婚約者にすり寄る女か、はたまた別の誰か、か。

「お前が思い出したらすべて教えてあげるわ。えぇ……すべて」

喪失した過去を取り戻した時、彼はもう――後戻りはできない。',
		'person_id' => '25',
		'rs' => '10',
		'excellent' => null,
		'parent_title' => null
	],
	'people' => [
		'id' => '25',
		'name' => 'かもめし'
	],
	'[new]' => false,
	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$tree = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.rewriting AS "novels__rewriting", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		':c1' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting' => 'text',
		'rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels__rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [
		'for' => '130'
	],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$count_treeList = (int) 2
$NovelsOrigin = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'id' => (int) 130,
	'title' => '迷宮都市・幻想特区',
	'person_id' => (int) 31,
	'people' => [
		'id' => '31',
		'name' => '冬空星屑'
	],
	'novels' => [
		'created' => '2019-03-20 01:55:27'
	],
	'[new]' => false,
	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$random_data = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting' => 'text',
		'rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels__rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$excellent = (int) 3
$headerTitle = '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$title = '「迷宮都市・幻想特区」の返信一覧。小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$title2 = '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$description = '「迷宮都市・幻想特区」の返信一覧。小説の最重要箇所であるタイトルとプロローグを改善するための相談、意見交換ができる掲示板です。タイトルが良くないとそもそも読者は小説を読んでくれません。また、プロローグがおもしろくなくては、ブックマークに登録してくれません。タイトルとプロローグで小説の評価は９割決まります。この２つを改善するための相談ができる場所です。'
$site_name = '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$meta = (int) 1
$advertisements = true
$form = (int) 1
$nondisplay = []
$h2 = '他の相談依頼'
$i2 = null
include - APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1203
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1164
Cake\View\View::_renderElement() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1561
Cake\View\View::element() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 675
include - APP/Template/Novels/tree.ctp, line 30
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1203
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1164
Cake\View\View::render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 772
Cake\Controller\Controller::render() - CORE/src/Controller/Controller.php, line 623
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::_invoke() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 125
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::dispatch() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 93
Cake\Http\BaseApplication::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/BaseApplication.php, line 108
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\RoutingMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/RoutingMiddleware.php, line 104
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\AssetMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/AssetMiddleware.php, line 88

記憶喪失の俺が、メイドになってお嬢様に仕えるワケ

投稿者かもめし返信数 : 9

投稿日時： 2019年01月13日

ノベル道場でお世話になった、かもめしと申します。この度、掲示板で書いていた長編小説を新人賞に応募したくて推敲しております。今... 続きを読む >>

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ラノベ作家・浅岡旭さんに創作に関する18の質問

冴えない俺が創竜の騎士になって、すべての世界を救うまで

投稿者ベルゼリウス返信数 : 5

投稿日時： 2018年07月18日

まだまだ10万文字書いてないのですが、品質向上の為、投稿させていただきます。話の内容としては、『蛇』と呼ばれる男と、世界を創った... 続きを読む >>

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小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
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ステーキ！　ステーキ！　ステーキ！

投稿者何てかこうか？返信数 : 4

投稿日時： 2018年04月01日

　初めまして、よろしくお願いします。　”何てかこうか？”といいます。（ペンネームかぶっている人が居たらごめんなさい）　こちら... 続きを読む >>

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