「鈴寿庵のこころつくし手帖」の返信一覧

鈴寿庵のこころつくし手帖 (No:1)

スレ主チル要望: 長所を教えてください！

投稿日時： 2025年10月24日

鈴寿庵のこころつくし手帖の批評 (No: 2)

投稿者 🍎 : 1 No: 1の返信

こんにちは！冒頭1話のみ拝読させていただきました。「よくまとまっている」という印象です。... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2025年10月26日

鈴寿庵のこころつくし手帖の批評の返信 (No: 3)

スレ主チル : 0 No: 2の返信

コメントありがとうございます。仰る通り、大人女性向けのキャラ文芸で執筆中でございます。 ... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2025年10月26日

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Notice (8): Undefined variable: i2 [APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11]Code Context        <?php foreach ($random_data as $novel): ?>
        <?php $i2++; ?>
        <div class="list-group-item">
$viewFile = '/home/users/2/weblike.jp-tennsaku/web/review/src/Template/Element/random_data.ctp'
$dataForView = [
	'_serialize' => [
		(int) 0 => 'novels'
	],
	'novel' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'[new]' => true,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'tree' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.improvementl AS "novels__improvementl", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
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		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
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		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'count_treeList' => (int) 2,
	'NovelsOrigin' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'id' => (int) 2733,
		'title' => '鈴寿庵のこころつくし手帖',
		'person_id' => (int) 141,
		'category' => '1',
		'people' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'novels' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[new]' => false,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'random_data' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", novels.category AS "novels__category", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
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		'defaultTypes' => [
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		'decorators' => (int) 0,
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		'contain' => [
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		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'excellent' => (int) 3,
	'headerTitle' => 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'title' => '「鈴寿庵のこころつくし手帖」の返信一覧。ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'title2' => 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'description' => '「鈴寿庵のこころつくし手帖」の返信一覧。ネット上に投稿した小説の批評をし合うための掲示板です。小説投稿サイトに投稿したけれど感想がまったくもらえない、どこを手直ししたらもっとおもしろくなるのかわからない、自作の長所、欠点を知りたい、という方、ぜひお使いください。他人の批評依頼に書き込みをすると、あなたの最新の批評依頼がサイトの一番先頭に移動し、「おすすめ小説」の表示が付いて批評をもらいやすくなります。',
	'site_name' => 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'meta' => (int) 1,
	'advertisements' => true,
	'form' => (int) 1,
	'nondisplay' => [],
	'h2' => '他の批評依頼'
]
$_serialize = [
	(int) 0 => 'novels'
]
$novel = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'novels' => [
		'id' => '840',
		'title' => '亡国のフロイライン (初稿)',
		'score' => '0',
		'url' => 'https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=10896456',
		'created' => '2019-03-19 22:13:12',
		'comment' => '短編の冒頭。
あまりに文章が下手すぎて、ツライです。改良のお手伝いをして欲しいです。',
		'person_id' => '169',
		'rs' => '12',
		'excellent' => '0',
		'parent_title' => '3',
		'category' => '2'
	],
	'people' => [
		'id' => '169',
		'name' => 'ハイケ'
	],
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	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$tree = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.improvementl AS "novels__improvementl", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
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		':c1' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
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	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__category' => 'text',
		'Novels.category' => 'text',
		'category' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
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		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
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		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels.outlinel' => 'text',
		'outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels.purpose' => 'integer',
		'purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
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	'decorators' => (int) 0,
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	'hydrate' => true,
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	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [
		'for' => '2733'
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	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$count_treeList = (int) 2
$NovelsOrigin = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'id' => (int) 2733,
	'title' => '鈴寿庵のこころつくし手帖',
	'person_id' => (int) 141,
	'category' => '1',
	'people' => [
		'id' => '141',
		'name' => 'チル'
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	'novels' => [
		'created' => '2025-10-24 22:34:49'
	],
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}
$random_data = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
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	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__category' => 'text',
		'Novels.category' => 'text',
		'category' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels.outlinel' => 'text',
		'outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels.purpose' => 'integer',
		'purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$excellent = (int) 3
$headerTitle = 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$title = '「鈴寿庵のこころつくし手帖」の返信一覧。ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$title2 = 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$description = '「鈴寿庵のこころつくし手帖」の返信一覧。ネット上に投稿した小説の批評をし合うための掲示板です。小説投稿サイトに投稿したけれど感想がまったくもらえない、どこを手直ししたらもっとおもしろくなるのかわからない、自作の長所、欠点を知りたい、という方、ぜひお使いください。他人の批評依頼に書き込みをすると、あなたの最新の批評依頼がサイトの一番先頭に移動し、「おすすめ小説」の表示が付いて批評をもらいやすくなります。'
$site_name = 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$meta = (int) 1
$advertisements = true
$form = (int) 1
$nondisplay = []
$h2 = '他の批評依頼'
$i2 = null
include - APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1196
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1157
Cake\View\View::_renderElement() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1554
Cake\View\View::element() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 668
include - APP/Template/Novels/tree.ctp, line 31
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1196
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1157
Cake\View\View::render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 765
Cake\Controller\Controller::render() - CORE/src/Controller/Controller.php, line 623
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::_invoke() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 125
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::dispatch() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 93
Cake\Http\BaseApplication::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/BaseApplication.php, line 108
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\RoutingMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/RoutingMiddleware.php, line 104
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\AssetMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/AssetMiddleware.php, line 88

▼おすすめ小説！

亡国のフロイライン (初稿)

投稿者ハイケ返信数 : 11

投稿日時： 2019年03月19日

短編の冒頭。あまりに文章が下手すぎて、ツライです。改良のお手伝いをして欲しいです。続きを読む >>

欠点の指摘歓迎！

返信一覧最新記事

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=10896456

おもしろい小説とは面白さを一言で説明できる物。ラノベ作家・浅岡旭さん

RogueUnion.

投稿者垂氷観寒返信数 : 1

投稿日時： 2018年10月05日

　バックボーンとしてはまだ目立ちませんが、後々能力戦闘要素(能力で直接攻撃は少なめ)を付け加えたいのですが、今のところの日常シーンで... 続きを読む >>

欠点の指摘歓迎！

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://estar.jp/_novel_view?w=25132182

海谷優陽(仮)が見つからない

投稿者棘野咲希返信数 : 0

投稿日時： 2019年08月08日

物語の始め方、文法や書き方で見直す点などを知りたいです。続きを読む >>

長所を教えてください！

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://novelup.plus/user/779190371/profile

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