「ねじまきメイドと列車帝王」の返信一覧

ねじまきメイドと列車帝王 (No:1)

スレ主七時雨要望: たのもー！(ボコボコにしてください)

投稿日時： 2020年02月03日

ねじまきメイドと列車帝王の批評 (No: 2)

投稿者読むせん : 0 No: 1の返信

スチパン感が少なすぎる。もっとゴッツゴツに機構的重圧感が欲しいっす。マキナドールの機... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2020年02月04日

ねじまきメイドと列車帝王の批評の返信 (No: 3)

スレ主七時雨 : 0 No: 2の返信

読む専さん、コメントありがとうございます。厳しい言葉が少なくて味気ないとのことだったので... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2020年02月04日

ねじまきメイドと列車帝王の批評の返信の返信 (No: 4)

投稿者読むせん : 0 No: 3の返信

スチパンは・・・・・寄せ集めこそ重要！！だと思う(;´∀｀) 機能的でないまだ洗練までいか... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2020年02月05日

ねじまきメイドと列車帝王の批評の返信の返信の返信 (No: 5)

スレ主七時雨 : 0 No: 4の返信

確かにご指摘の通り、物事の外面を描写している節はあって、感覚や概念といった人間の内面的な部分... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2020年02月05日

▼投稿者の検索

トップページへ

ページの先頭へ

他の批評依頼

Notice (8): Undefined variable: i2 [APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11]Code Context        <?php foreach ($random_data as $novel): ?>
        <?php $i2++; ?>
        <div class="list-group-item">
$viewFile = '/home/users/2/weblike.jp-tennsaku/web/review/src/Template/Element/random_data.ctp'
$dataForView = [
	'_serialize' => [
		(int) 0 => 'novels'
	],
	'novel' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'[new]' => true,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'tree' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.improvementl AS "novels__improvementl", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
		'hydrate' => true,
		'buffered' => true,
		'formatters' => (int) 0,
		'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
		'contain' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'count_treeList' => (int) 4,
	'NovelsOrigin' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'id' => (int) 1242,
		'title' => 'ねじまきメイドと列車帝王',
		'person_id' => (int) 133,
		'category' => '3',
		'people' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'novels' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[new]' => false,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'random_data' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", novels.category AS "novels__category", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
		'hydrate' => true,
		'buffered' => true,
		'formatters' => (int) 0,
		'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
		'contain' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'excellent' => (int) 3,
	'headerTitle' => 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'title' => '「ねじまきメイドと列車帝王」の返信一覧。ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'title2' => 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'description' => '「ねじまきメイドと列車帝王」の返信一覧。ネット上に投稿した小説の批評をし合うための掲示板です。小説投稿サイトに投稿したけれど感想がまったくもらえない、どこを手直ししたらもっとおもしろくなるのかわからない、自作の長所、欠点を知りたい、という方、ぜひお使いください。他人の批評依頼に書き込みをすると、あなたの最新の批評依頼がサイトの一番先頭に移動し、「おすすめ小説」の表示が付いて批評をもらいやすくなります。',
	'site_name' => 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'meta' => (int) 1,
	'advertisements' => true,
	'form' => (int) 1,
	'nondisplay' => [],
	'h2' => '他の批評依頼'
]
$_serialize = [
	(int) 0 => 'novels'
]
$novel = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'novels' => [
		'id' => '538',
		'title' => '彼岸を覗く瞳',
		'score' => '0',
		'url' => 'https://kakuyomu.jp/works/1177354054887034473',
		'created' => '2018-10-01 18:42:01',
		'comment' => '基本的に主人公の一人称視点で書きました。文章の分かり易さや、表現、物語自体の妙味があるか。あらゆる点で指摘して頂きたいです。宜しくお願いします。',
		'person_id' => '118',
		'rs' => '11',
		'excellent' => null,
		'parent_title' => '1',
		'category' => '3'
	],
	'people' => [
		'id' => '118',
		'name' => 'こげら'
	],
	'[new]' => false,
	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$tree = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.improvementl AS "novels__improvementl", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		':c1' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__category' => 'text',
		'Novels.category' => 'text',
		'category' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels.outlinel' => 'text',
		'outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels.purpose' => 'integer',
		'purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [
		'for' => '1242'
	],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$count_treeList = (int) 4
$NovelsOrigin = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'id' => (int) 1242,
	'title' => 'ねじまきメイドと列車帝王',
	'person_id' => (int) 133,
	'category' => '3',
	'people' => [
		'id' => '133',
		'name' => '七時雨'
	],
	'novels' => [
		'created' => '2020-02-03 19:13:00'
	],
	'[new]' => false,
	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$random_data = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", novels.category AS "novels__category", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__category' => 'text',
		'Novels.category' => 'text',
		'category' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels.outlinel' => 'text',
		'outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels.purpose' => 'integer',
		'purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$excellent = (int) 3
$headerTitle = 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$title = '「ねじまきメイドと列車帝王」の返信一覧。ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$title2 = 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$description = '「ねじまきメイドと列車帝王」の返信一覧。ネット上に投稿した小説の批評をし合うための掲示板です。小説投稿サイトに投稿したけれど感想がまったくもらえない、どこを手直ししたらもっとおもしろくなるのかわからない、自作の長所、欠点を知りたい、という方、ぜひお使いください。他人の批評依頼に書き込みをすると、あなたの最新の批評依頼がサイトの一番先頭に移動し、「おすすめ小説」の表示が付いて批評をもらいやすくなります。'
$site_name = 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$meta = (int) 1
$advertisements = true
$form = (int) 1
$nondisplay = []
$h2 = '他の批評依頼'
$i2 = null
include - APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1196
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1157
Cake\View\View::_renderElement() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1554
Cake\View\View::element() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 668
include - APP/Template/Novels/tree.ctp, line 31
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1196
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1157
Cake\View\View::render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 765
Cake\Controller\Controller::render() - CORE/src/Controller/Controller.php, line 623
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::_invoke() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 125
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::dispatch() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 93
Cake\Http\BaseApplication::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/BaseApplication.php, line 108
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\RoutingMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/RoutingMiddleware.php, line 104
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\AssetMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/AssetMiddleware.php, line 88

▼おすすめ小説！

彼岸を覗く瞳

投稿者こげら返信数 : 10

投稿日時： 2018年10月01日

基本的に主人公の一人称視点で書きました。文章の分かり易さや、表現、物語自体の妙味があるか。あらゆる点で指摘して頂きたいです。宜しくお... 続きを読む >>

たのもー！(ボコボコにしてください)

返信一覧最新記事

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/1177354054887034473

一年生から原稿がお金になることを体験する！AMGの作家育成ノウハウ

コタが語る

投稿者オリビア返信数 : 1

投稿日時： 2022年11月15日

こんにちは、そしてありがとうございます。日本語は私の母国語ではありませんし、実は本当に苦手なんです。それでもライトノベルを書こう... 続きを読む >>

欠点の指摘歓迎！

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330649574907974

▼おすすめ小説！

寿国演義　銀鈴、都へ行く　急行列車と動物支障と家出娘

投稿者ドラコン返信数 : 13

投稿日時： 2019年11月22日

　鉄道が存在する、中華時代劇風ファンタジーです。　何度かプロローグ掲示板やプロット掲示板に投稿してご意見をいただいたのですが... 続きを読む >>

長所を教えてください！

返信一覧最新記事

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://ranove.sakura.ne.jp/story_system/public_story/07072.shtml

「ねじまきメイドと列車帝王」の返信一覧

▼書き込みの検索

▼投稿者の検索

他の批評依頼

ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！の使い方・利用規約(必ずお読みください)。お問い合わせ

関連コンテンツ