「青春女の自転車部（仮）」の返信一覧

青春女の自転車部（仮） (No:1)

スレ主ポゴ要望: たのもー！(ボコボコにしてください)

投稿日時： 2018年08月07日

青春女の自転車部（仮）の批評 (No: 2)

投稿者オミクロン : 0 No: 1の返信

　8話だけを一読させていただきました。オミクロンです。徹底的に酷評させていただきます。ご容赦... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2018年08月08日

青春女の自転車部（仮）の批評 (No: 3)

投稿者オミクロン : 0 No: 1の返信

　……流石にボロクソに書きすぎたので、もう少し具体的な改善点を挙げます。　まず何が足... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2018年08月08日

青春女の自転車部（仮）の批評の返信 (No: 4)

スレ主ポゴ : 0 No: 3の返信

こんばんは。たくさんの批判ありがとうございます。言われたとこだけ直して、きりのいいとこま... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2018年08月08日

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Notice (8): Undefined variable: i2 [APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11]Code Context        <?php foreach ($random_data as $novel): ?>
        <?php $i2++; ?>
        <div class="list-group-item">
$viewFile = '/home/users/2/weblike.jp-tennsaku/web/review/src/Template/Element/random_data.ctp'
$dataForView = [
	'_serialize' => [
		(int) 0 => 'novels'
	],
	'novel' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'[new]' => true,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'tree' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.improvementl AS "novels__improvementl", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
		'hydrate' => true,
		'buffered' => true,
		'formatters' => (int) 0,
		'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
		'contain' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'count_treeList' => (int) 3,
	'NovelsOrigin' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'id' => (int) 457,
		'title' => '青春女の自転車部（仮）',
		'person_id' => (int) 91,
		'category' => '3',
		'people' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'novels' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[new]' => false,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'random_data' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", novels.category AS "novels__category", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
		'hydrate' => true,
		'buffered' => true,
		'formatters' => (int) 0,
		'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
		'contain' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'excellent' => (int) 3,
	'headerTitle' => 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'title' => '「青春女の自転車部（仮）」の返信一覧。ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'title2' => 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'description' => '「青春女の自転車部（仮）」の返信一覧。ネット上に投稿した小説の批評をし合うための掲示板です。小説投稿サイトに投稿したけれど感想がまったくもらえない、どこを手直ししたらもっとおもしろくなるのかわからない、自作の長所、欠点を知りたい、という方、ぜひお使いください。他人の批評依頼に書き込みをすると、あなたの最新の批評依頼がサイトの一番先頭に移動し、「おすすめ小説」の表示が付いて批評をもらいやすくなります。',
	'site_name' => 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！',
	'meta' => (int) 1,
	'advertisements' => true,
	'form' => (int) 1,
	'nondisplay' => [],
	'h2' => '他の批評依頼'
]
$_serialize = [
	(int) 0 => 'novels'
]
$novel = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'novels' => [
		'id' => '2626',
		'title' => '日記',
		'score' => '0',
		'url' => 'https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093091298794973/episodes/16818093091298944528',
		'created' => '2025-03-25 17:45:47',
		'comment' => '反ルッキズムを書きたいと思い、外見に執着することがいかに醜いかを表現しようとしました。地の文の中の描写と説明の割合がよくわかっていないので教えてください。',
		'person_id' => '569',
		'rs' => '3',
		'excellent' => null,
		'parent_title' => null,
		'category' => '3'
	],
	'people' => [
		'id' => '569',
		'name' => '里仲光'
	],
	'[new]' => false,
	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$tree = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.improvementl AS "novels__improvementl", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		':c1' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__category' => 'text',
		'Novels.category' => 'text',
		'category' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels.outlinel' => 'text',
		'outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels.purpose' => 'integer',
		'purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [
		'for' => '457'
	],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$count_treeList = (int) 3
$NovelsOrigin = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'id' => (int) 457,
	'title' => '青春女の自転車部（仮）',
	'person_id' => (int) 91,
	'category' => '3',
	'people' => [
		'id' => '91',
		'name' => 'ポゴ'
	],
	'novels' => [
		'created' => '2018-08-07 23:32:06'
	],
	'[new]' => false,
	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$random_data = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", novels.category AS "novels__category", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__category' => 'text',
		'Novels.category' => 'text',
		'category' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels.outlinel' => 'text',
		'outlinel' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels.purpose' => 'integer',
		'purpose' => 'integer',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$excellent = (int) 3
$headerTitle = 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$title = '「青春女の自転車部（仮）」の返信一覧。ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$title2 = 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$description = '「青春女の自転車部（仮）」の返信一覧。ネット上に投稿した小説の批評をし合うための掲示板です。小説投稿サイトに投稿したけれど感想がまったくもらえない、どこを手直ししたらもっとおもしろくなるのかわからない、自作の長所、欠点を知りたい、という方、ぜひお使いください。他人の批評依頼に書き込みをすると、あなたの最新の批評依頼がサイトの一番先頭に移動し、「おすすめ小説」の表示が付いて批評をもらいやすくなります。'
$site_name = 'ノベル道場/小説の批評をし合おう！'
$meta = (int) 1
$advertisements = true
$form = (int) 1
$nondisplay = []
$h2 = '他の批評依頼'
$i2 = null
include - APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1196
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1157
Cake\View\View::_renderElement() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1554
Cake\View\View::element() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 668
include - APP/Template/Novels/tree.ctp, line 31
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1196
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1157
Cake\View\View::render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 765
Cake\Controller\Controller::render() - CORE/src/Controller/Controller.php, line 623
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::_invoke() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 125
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::dispatch() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 93
Cake\Http\BaseApplication::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/BaseApplication.php, line 108
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\RoutingMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/RoutingMiddleware.php, line 104
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\AssetMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/AssetMiddleware.php, line 88

日記

投稿者里仲光返信数 : 2

投稿日時： 2025年03月25日

反ルッキズムを書きたいと思い、外見に執着することがいかに醜いかを表現しようとしました。地の文の中の描写と説明の割合がよくわかっていな... 続きを読む >>

たのもー！(ボコボコにしてください)

返信一覧最新記事

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093091298794973/episodes/16818093091298944528

おもしろい小説とは面白さを一言で説明できる物。ラノベ作家・浅岡旭さん

▼おすすめ小説！

僕がどんどん増えていく（第2稿、R-15）

投稿者エア返信数 : 13

投稿日時： 2019年12月01日

別サイトの批評で、ご都合主義な部分があるという指摘を受けたので、改稿版を出します。前作との違い・小柳の細胞を使って死者が生き... 続きを読む >>

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投稿日時： 2018年02月17日

特殊な視点、構成で書いているので、途中で自分でも頭がこんがらがっていました。なので矛盾している点や、違和感を覚えたことなど、なんでも... 続きを読む >>

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