「凍った瞳改稿版1」の返信一覧

凍った瞳改稿版1 (No:1)

スレ主 silica

投稿日時： 2021年11月24日

凍った瞳改稿版1の返信 (No: 2)

投稿者日暮れ : 0 No: 1の返信

私あんまり掲示板には顔を出さないんですけど、なんとなくふらっと寄ってみました。ちなみに、... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2021年11月25日

凍った瞳改稿版1の返信 (No: 3)

投稿者カイト : 0 No: 1の返信

silicaさんこんにちは。カイトです。今回も読ませていただきました。登場人物や状況... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2021年11月25日

凍った瞳改稿版1の返信 (No: 4)

スレ主 silica : 0 No: 1の返信

日暮れさん、カイトさん、返信ありがとうございます。たしかに、夜が明けた時点でシーンは終わ... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2021年11月29日

凍った瞳改稿版1の返信 (No: 5)

投稿者柊木なお : 1 No: 1の返信

silica様執筆お疲れ様です。プロローグを読ませていただきました。短い... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2021年12月06日

凍った瞳改稿版1の返信 (No: 6)

スレ主 silica : 0 No: 1の返信

柊木なお様、返信ありがとうございます。〉短い中に世界観とキャラクターの紹介がうまく収... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2021年12月07日

凍った瞳改稿版1の返信 (No: 7)

投稿者ラ研の無惨 : 0 No: 1の返信

どうもこんにちは。先日はプロット及び相談掲示板にレスをいただきありがとうございます。プロ... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2021年12月09日

凍った瞳改稿版1の返信 (No: 8)

スレ主 silica : 0 No: 1の返信

こんにちは。ラ研の無惨様、返信ありがとうございます。たしかに、改めて読み直してみると... 続きを読む >>

投稿日時： 2021年12月10日

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トップページへ

小説の最重要箇所であるタイトルとプロローグを改善するための相談、意見交換ができる掲示板です。
タイトルが良くないとそもそも読者は小説を読んでくれません。
また、プロローグがおもしろくなくては、ブックマークに登録してくれません。タイトルとプロローグで小説の評価は９割決まります。
この２つを改善するための相談ができる場所です。

ページの先頭へ

他の相談依頼

Notice (8): Undefined variable: i2 [APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11]Code Context        <?php foreach ($random_data as $novel): ?>
        <?php $i2++; ?>
        <div class="list-group-item">
$viewFile = '/home/users/2/weblike.jp-tennsaku/web/prologue/src/Template/Element/random_data.ctp'
$dataForView = [
	'_serialize' => [
		(int) 0 => 'novels'
	],
	'novel' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'[new]' => true,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'tree' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.rewriting AS "novels__rewriting", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
		'hydrate' => true,
		'buffered' => true,
		'formatters' => (int) 0,
		'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
		'contain' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'count_treeList' => (int) 7,
	'NovelsOrigin' => object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

		'id' => (int) 287,
		'title' => '凍った瞳 改稿版1',
		'person_id' => (int) 59,
		'people' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'novels' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[new]' => false,
		'[accessible]' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'[dirty]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[original]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[virtual]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[errors]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[invalid]' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'[repository]' => 'Novels'
	
	},
	'random_data' => object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

		'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
		'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
		'params' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'defaultTypes' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'decorators' => (int) 0,
		'executed' => true,
		'hydrate' => true,
		'buffered' => true,
		'formatters' => (int) 0,
		'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
		'contain' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		'matching' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'extraOptions' => [[maximum depth reached]],
		'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}
	
	},
	'excellent' => (int) 3,
	'headerTitle' => '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'title' => '「凍った瞳 改稿版1」の返信一覧。小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'title2' => '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'description' => '「凍った瞳 改稿版1」の返信一覧。小説の最重要箇所であるタイトルとプロローグを改善するための相談、意見交換ができる掲示板です。タイトルが良くないとそもそも読者は小説を読んでくれません。また、プロローグがおもしろくなくては、ブックマークに登録してくれません。タイトルとプロローグで小説の評価は９割決まります。この２つを改善するための相談ができる場所です。',
	'site_name' => '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』',
	'meta' => (int) 1,
	'advertisements' => true,
	'form' => (int) 1,
	'nondisplay' => [],
	'h2' => '他の相談依頼'
]
$_serialize = [
	(int) 0 => 'novels'
]
$novel = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'novels' => [
		'id' => '310',
		'title' => '日本東京・大阪またはLINE/TGでID検索@JP84434',
		'score' => '0',
		'url' => 'https://jp84434.com',
		'created' => '2025-09-13 23:54:16',
		'comment' => '日本東京・大阪またはLINE/TGでID検索@JP84434出張サービス Gleezyをダウンロードして検索：w84434
日本東京・大阪またはLINE/TGでID検索@JP84434出張サービス Gleezyをダウンロードして検索：w84434
日本東京・大阪またはLINE/TGでID検索@JP84434出張サービス Gleezyをダウンロードして検索：w84434V',
		'person_id' => '70',
		'rs' => '2',
		'excellent' => null,
		'parent_title' => null
	],
	'people' => [
		'id' => '70',
		'name' => '日本、交流'
	],
	'[new]' => false,
	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$tree = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.rewriting AS "novels__rewriting", novels.good AS "novels__good", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.parent_no AS "novels__parent_no", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.story AS "novels__story", novels.no AS "novels__no", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE (Novels.rght < :c0 AND Novels.lft > :c1) ORDER BY Novels.lft ASC',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		],
		':c1' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting' => 'text',
		'rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels__rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [
		'for' => '287'
	],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$count_treeList = (int) 7
$NovelsOrigin = object(App\Model\Entity\Novel) {

	'id' => (int) 287,
	'title' => '凍った瞳 改稿版1',
	'person_id' => (int) 59,
	'people' => [
		'id' => '59',
		'name' => 'silica'
	],
	'novels' => [
		'created' => '2021-11-24 17:46:32'
	],
	'[new]' => false,
	'[accessible]' => [
		'*' => true,
		'id' => false
	],
	'[dirty]' => [],
	'[original]' => [],
	'[virtual]' => [],
	'[errors]' => [],
	'[invalid]' => [],
	'[repository]' => 'Novels'

}
$random_data = object(Cake\ORM\Query) {

	'(help)' => 'This is a Query object, to get the results execute or iterate it.',
	'sql' => 'SELECT novels.id AS "novels__id", novels.title AS "novels__title", novels.score AS "novels__score", novels.url AS "novels__url", novels.created AS "novels__created", novels.comment AS "novels__comment", novels.person_id AS "novels__person_id", novels.rs AS "novels__rs", novels.excellent AS "novels__excellent", novels.parent_title AS "novels__parent_title", people.id AS "people__id", people.name AS "people__name" FROM novels Novels INNER JOIN people People ON People.id = (Novels.person_id) WHERE ((parent_id) IS NULL AND novels.id != :c0) ORDER BY random() LIMIT 3',
	'params' => [
		':c0' => [
			[maximum depth reached]
		]
	],
	'defaultTypes' => [
		'Novels__id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.id' => 'integer',
		'id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_id' => 'integer',
		'parent_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels.person_id' => 'integer',
		'person_id' => 'integer',
		'Novels__title' => 'string',
		'Novels.title' => 'string',
		'title' => 'string',
		'Novels__rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting' => 'text',
		'rewriting' => 'text',
		'Novels__rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'rewriting_number' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'rewriting_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.comment' => 'text',
		'comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_comment' => 'text',
		'parent_comment' => 'text',
		'Novels__lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels.lft' => 'integer',
		'lft' => 'integer',
		'Novels__rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rght' => 'integer',
		'rght' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels.origin' => 'integer',
		'origin' => 'integer',
		'Novels__origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.origin_title' => 'text',
		'origin_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels.parent_title' => 'text',
		'parent_title' => 'text',
		'Novels__ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.ip' => 'text',
		'ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels.user_ip' => 'text',
		'user_ip' => 'text',
		'Novels__rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels.rs' => 'integer',
		'rs' => 'integer',
		'Novels__score' => 'integer',
		'Novels.score' => 'integer',
		'score' => 'integer',
		'Novels__no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.no' => 'integer',
		'no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels.parent_no' => 'integer',
		'parent_no' => 'integer',
		'Novels__story' => 'integer',
		'Novels.story' => 'integer',
		'story' => 'integer',
		'Novels__excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels.excellent' => 'integer',
		'excellent' => 'integer',
		'Novels__writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels.writer' => 'integer',
		'writer' => 'integer',
		'Novels__url' => 'text',
		'Novels.url' => 'text',
		'url' => 'text',
		'Novels__improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels.improvementl' => 'text',
		'improvementl' => 'text',
		'Novels__good' => 'text',
		'Novels.good' => 'text',
		'good' => 'text',
		'Novels__created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.created' => 'datetime',
		'created' => 'datetime',
		'Novels__modified' => 'datetime',
		'Novels.modified' => 'datetime',
		'modified' => 'datetime',
		'People__id' => 'integer',
		'People.id' => 'integer',
		'People__name' => 'text',
		'People.name' => 'text',
		'name' => 'text',
		'People__email' => 'text',
		'People.email' => 'text',
		'email' => 'text',
		'People__sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People.sendmail' => 'integer',
		'sendmail' => 'integer',
		'People__created' => 'datetime',
		'People.created' => 'datetime'
	],
	'decorators' => (int) 0,
	'executed' => true,
	'hydrate' => true,
	'buffered' => true,
	'formatters' => (int) 0,
	'mapReducers' => (int) 0,
	'contain' => [
		'People' => [[maximum depth reached]]
	],
	'matching' => [],
	'extraOptions' => [],
	'repository' => object(App\Model\Table\NovelsTable) {}

}
$excellent = (int) 3
$headerTitle = '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$title = '「凍った瞳 改稿版1」の返信一覧。小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$title2 = '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$description = '「凍った瞳 改稿版1」の返信一覧。小説の最重要箇所であるタイトルとプロローグを改善するための相談、意見交換ができる掲示板です。タイトルが良くないとそもそも読者は小説を読んでくれません。また、プロローグがおもしろくなくては、ブックマークに登録してくれません。タイトルとプロローグで小説の評価は９割決まります。この２つを改善するための相談ができる場所です。'
$site_name = '小説のタイトル・プロローグ改善相談所『ノベル道場』'
$meta = (int) 1
$advertisements = true
$form = (int) 1
$nondisplay = []
$h2 = '他の相談依頼'
$i2 = null
include - APP/Template/Element/random_data.ctp, line 11
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1203
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1164
Cake\View\View::_renderElement() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1561
Cake\View\View::element() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 675
include - APP/Template/Novels/tree.ctp, line 30
Cake\View\View::_evaluate() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1203
Cake\View\View::_render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 1164
Cake\View\View::render() - CORE/src/View/View.php, line 772
Cake\Controller\Controller::render() - CORE/src/Controller/Controller.php, line 623
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::_invoke() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 125
Cake\Http\ActionDispatcher::dispatch() - CORE/src/Http/ActionDispatcher.php, line 93
Cake\Http\BaseApplication::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/BaseApplication.php, line 108
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\RoutingMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/RoutingMiddleware.php, line 104
Cake\Http\Runner::__invoke() - CORE/src/Http/Runner.php, line 65
Cake\Routing\Middleware\AssetMiddleware::__invoke() - CORE/src/Routing/Middleware/AssetMiddleware.php, line 88

日本東京・大阪またはLINE/TGでID検索@JP84434

投稿者日本、交流返信数 : 1

投稿日時： 2025年09月13日

日本東京・大阪またはLINE/TGでID検索@JP84434出張サービス Gleezyをダウンロードして検索：w84434 日本東... 続きを読む >>

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://jp84434.com

新人ラノベ作家が一発屋で終わる理由とは？２つの原因と対策

青空坂上　AOZORA-SAKAUE　１条線　～卒業するまで、しゃっぽーしようね！～

投稿者千歳返信数 : 1

投稿日時： 2019年04月30日

個人的には良いプロローグが書けたと思っていますが、どうなんでしょうか？他の方の意見を聞いてみたいです。続きを読む >>

小説投稿先URL（別タブが開きます）
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n6047ek/

▼おすすめ小説！

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投稿者 s.s 返信数 : 13

投稿日時： 2020年08月11日

お久しぶりです。二ヶ月ほど前からプロットを練っていた海賊物のプロローグが出来たのでこちらにて公開しようと思います。質問したい点は... 続きを読む >>

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